Slippery When Wet
by aviatrix8
Summary: What if... Ranma decided to tell Mikado Sanzenin about his curse? (Inspiration for "The Kissing Game)


Copyright, Aviatrix8, 1998. Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi and used without permission.   
  
Just a little "what if" story about my favourite (if *very* minor) Ranma 1/2 character. Basically, the premise is, "What if Ranma decided to tell Mikado Sanzenin about his curse?" (BTW, if you read "The Kissing Game", you'll instantly recognize the scene... The ending is quite a bit different, though. ^_~)   
  
-=-  
  
Ranma 1/2 Fanfic:   
  
"Slippery When Wet"  
  
by Avi  
  
-=-  
  
Mikado Sanzenin sat calmly in the hot baths at the municipal skating rink, eyes closed. It had been a particularly trying skating practice; Azusa had found something cute again. He touched the bumps behind his head and winced. He suspected he had developed a certain amount of resistance to the blows she gave him, as they would've killed a lesser man, but they still *hurt*.  
  
"Yo, Sanzenin."  
  
Mikado opened his eyes. At the entrance to the baths, stood Ranma Saotome, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"C'mere for a second."  
  
Mikado paused for a moment, then shrugged. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then stepped out of the bath. The other men in the public bath began to stare at them both, but they ignored it.  
  
"What is it, Saotome?" he asked, a touch irritably. Mikado gestured at the steam-filled room around him. "This is hardly the place for one to issue a challenge."  
  
"I didn't say nothin' about challenging you," replied Ranma quietly. "I just wanted to show you somethin', that's all." Mikado arced his eyebrow again.  
  
"Oh? And what may that be?"  
  
Without a word, Ranma filled a bath pail with cold water and lifted it over his head. "This." He poured the water over himself.   
  
Mikado stared. If some of the bathhouse patrons weren't paying attention before, they were certainly doing so now. Ranma-chan glared at them.  
  
"What are you looking at, you perverts?" She snatched a bucket of hot water and poured it over herself, reverting back to male form. It was at this moment that Mikado was finally able to speak.  
  
"You're... You're that pig-tailed girl..." he trailed off weakly.  
  
"Yeah. Disappointed?" Ranma smirked. Mikado placed a hand to his head, a vein throbbing in his forehead.  
  
"Do you mean to tell me... All this time... I had kissed a *man*?!"  
  
"Whoa. So you're not so dumb after all, eh, Maniacal Sex-Fiend?"   
  
"For the last time, that's *Mikado Sanzenin*! And how dare you toy with my affections like that!" Ranma blinked in surprise, then in anger.   
  
"What are you talkin' about? *You* kissed *me*, remember?" Mikado clenched a fist.  
  
"To think I should debase myself by kissing a *man*... Ranma Saotome... You make me sick!" In one swift motion, Mikado kicked Ranma squarely on the chest. Caught off guard by this surprise attack, Ranma slid across the tiled floor and hit the wall with a resounding thump. As usual, Ranma shook it off.  
  
"Okay, jerk," he growled. "If that's the way you want to play it..." He picked himself off the floor and launched himself at Mikado, who watched his approach unflinchingly.   
  
At the last possible moment, Mikado sidestepped Ranma's attack, and with a cold expression on his face, tripped him. Ranma went sprawling into the hot bath behind him. He resurfaced, spluttering.  
  
"You're just *askin'* for it now, Sanzenin!"   
  
To the amazed eyes of the onlooking bathers, he jumped out of the bath, and threw a punch at Mikado, which the latter easily dodged. But Ranma was ready for that this time, and followed up with a lightning quick fist to the face. To his surprise, Mikado slid back, avoiding the punch. He then neatly pirouetted and aimed a kick at Ranma's face, who just managed to duck in time.  
  
As the fight progressed, it repeated that same pattern: Whenever Ranma would try to attack Mikado, the latter would move just out of reach, but close enough to be able to fight back. What's going on? thought Ranma to himself, as he blocked another of Sanzenin's reversals. Mikado slid across the room away from Ranma, amused by the frustrated expression on his opponent's face.  
  
"Problem, Saotome? Surely you can't be tired yet."  
  
"I'm just gettin' warmed up, Sanzenin," replied Ranma, gritting his teeth. Looks like it's time I brought out the big guns, he thought to himself. He decided to wait for Sanzenin to attack this time.   
  
Mikado watched his opponent. So, he wants me to attack now, he thought. Too bad. He will come to regret his mistake... Mikado slid back deceptively, then swerved around. He accelerated towards Ranma, preparing to kick him.   
  
Ranma steeled himself for the coming attack. "That's right, you jerk. Closer... Closer..." Just when Mikado's kick was about to reach him, he cried out, "Katchou tenshin ameguriken!"  
  
Mikado was surprised by the flurry of fists about to touch him, but not enough so that he couldn't react. He quickly changed his attack: "Dance of Death!"  
  
The other bathers watched in fascination at the speed of Ranma's punches, and Mikado's attempt to block them with his spinning attack. It was difficult to tell who was winning; both were moving so fast! But, eventually, both wound down. They moved away, and circled each other warily.  
  
Damn! thought Ranma. When did he get so fast?  
  
"Surprised?" asked Mikado, mirroring his thoughts. "After our last fight ended in a draw, I trained myself to be faster, just to make sure that wouldn't happen again." A slight frown appeared on his face. "But it seems that you've been training, too..."  
  
Ranma let a bit of a smile appear on his face. So, not as confident as you seem, huh? he thought. Maybe I can work that to my advantage. Ranma frowned. Now, if I could only figure out how he's moving around so fast...  
  
Ranma was so caught up in his thoughts that he wasn't paying attention to where he was stepping. His foot slipped on a soapy puddle, which sent him falling heavily to the ground.   
  
"Damn! Stupid slippery floor!" he snarled. Then Ranma stared at the wet tiles beneath him. That's it! he thought. That's how Sanzenin's moving so fast! Thoughts flew through his mind: how easily Mikado moved across the floor, his swift attacks, and the Dance of Death. How could I be so blind? /He's sliding around the wet floor just like he's skating on an ice rink!/  
  
He had just realized this when it suddenly also occurred to Ranma that Mikado was launching another attack. He managed to roll away just as a flying kick soared above Ranma, barely missing him. Instead, Mikado's kick struck a faucet behind him, knocking off the tap. A jet of water shot out, hitting Ranma dead on.   
  
"Hey! That's cold!" Cold? Oh no... Ranma-chan stood up, wiping water from her face. She glared defiantly at Mikado. Mikado stared at her. His eyes narrowed.  
  
"Don't think that I will go any easier on you, just because you're a woman, now," he said quietly. "I know you're really a man."  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ranma-chan smirked. Perhaps this could work to her advantage after all. At any rate, at least she knew how he was attacking her, and could think up a countermeasure.  
  
The fight started up again. Ranma-chan had to admit she was impressed by Mikado's self control: Despite the fact that he avoided looking at her bare chest, he indeed didn't seem to back down; if anything, he fought even harder! He must be *really* ticked off, Ranma-chan thought wryly. At least she was faster as a girl, and could now keep up with him better. She wondered if she should try sliding around the floor like Mikado was doing. Nah, thought Ranma-chan. She hated to admit it, but she wasn't a very good skater. If only I could get him off this slippery surface! Then I could have the advantage! Finally, she got an idea.  
  
Ranma-chan narrowly dodged one of Mikado's spinning punches and scaled the bathhouse wall. Grabbing the top of it, she balanced herself, then turned around and made a face at him. "Catch me if you can!" Mikado lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"To think, I thought you were above such cowardice." Ranma-chan bristled at the word 'cowardice', but bit her tongue. "Very well." Mikado dashed across the wet floor like a speed skater, then launched himself at the wall.  
  
Sucker! thought Ranma-chan. She bounced off the wall, towards the airbourne Mikado. As she soon as she got close enough, she grabbed him with one hand, and drew back the other. "Katchou tenshin ameguriken!"  
  
Caught off guard, Mikado gasped. Instinctively, he tried to twist away from the attack. But Ranma-chan was was holding him, and he only succeeded in sending them into a descending spiral to the floor as she pounded at his chest. He tried to block the punches, but by then it was too late...  
  
They hit the ground with a thud. Ranma-chan was not above using Mikado to break her fall, especially after that "cowardice" remark. She got to her feet as Mikado lay on the floor, the wind knocked out of him.   
  
"Huh. Well, that'll show him." The watching bathers clapped appreciatively. She heard a moan behind her, and was surprised to see Mikado sitting up, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"Yes, I quite agree," he said, surprising her even more."Perhaps I was wrong." Ranma-chan crossed her arms in front of her.  
  
"About...?"  
  
"About my kissing you and how it was your fault," Mikado said quite calmly. "Perhaps it was mine, after all." He looked at her. "I guess was so upset at the thought of kissing another man, I couldn't think clearly. And I apologize for attacking you." At his admission of guilt,Ranma-chan suddenly felt bad about her attitude.  
  
"Ah, ferget about it," she murmured. "You didn't know I was a guy. And I don't blame you for attacking me; I can't say I was too happy about your kissing me, either." Mikado stood up and walked over towards her.   
  
"Then shall we call a truce?" Mikado held out a hand towards Ranma-chan. She stared at it for a moment, then shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." She put her hand in his, in a firm handshake. Mikado smiled at Ranma-chan. Then he leaned down and...   
  
Fortunately, she saw it coming this time.   
  
-=-  
  
Azusa Shiratori skated morosely around the ice. She was supposed to be practicing with Mikado, but he had left early, complaining of a headache. Azusa pouted. On top of that, she couldn't find anything that was cute. This was because most of the people at the rink knew about Azusa's little obsession by now, and kept their personal objects, as well as themselves, at a distance. Preferrably a large distance.  
  
All of a sudden, there was a loud crash from the direction of the men's baths. There was a sound as if something was sailing over the rink; then that something smashed through the dome of the ice rink. Mikado landed with an unusual, if understandable, lack of grace on the ice. It cracked beneath him. Azusa skated up to her prone partner.  
  
"San-chan...?" she inquired, looking down at him.   
  
Suddenly, Azusa's eyes lit up. She let out a squeal of delight.  
  
"Ooo! Lysander! How cuuuuuuuute!" Mikado's eyes snapped open, a look of horror beginning to creep onto his face.  
  
-=-  
  
Ranma sat quietly in a hot bath. He decided to change back to his boy-form; he was getting far too many odd looks for his liking. Besides, after what that pervert tried to do... *Again*... Despite the steam rising from the water, Ranma shivered. That guy was a kissaholic! Good thing I booted him before he could try it, the jerk...  
  
His train of thought was interrupted by two people arguing at the tops of their voices.  
  
"No, Azusa, you *cannot* have it!" There was a desperate edge to the speaker's voice.  
  
"But San-chan, it's so cute! Lysander! Lysander!"  
  
"I said no!"  
  
"I want it! I want it!"  
  
There was the sound of somebody stamping their foot on the ice, then a pained scream, as might be made by someone whose bare foot was stomped on by somebody wearing ice skates. Then there was a giggle of triumph.  
  
"Lysander! Hee hee!"  
  
"YOU STUPID GIRL!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY TOWEL!!"  
  
"Hey, isn't that Mikado Sanzenin?"  
  
"And he's got no clothes on!"  
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!"  
  
"Get him!"  
  
"Wait! Ladies! You don't understand-- ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!"  
  
"Hmph. I always knew that guy was a pervert."  
  
"I dunno, I think he's kind of cute..."  
  
Huh, thought Ranma, tuning out the rest. Serves him right. Lousy jerk... He sank into the hot bath, with the supreme comfort of someone not receiving the pain... For once.  
  
END  
  
-=-  
  
Notes: Okay, I have to say this because I have the sneaking suspicion somebody will think otherwise... Lysander is the towel, okay? So there. Nyah. ^_~ (If it wasn't, Azusa wouldn't have run off with the towel, now would she?) Incidently, "Lysander" is the title character from the novel "The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous", a title which sort of reminds me of Mikado... ^_^ 


End file.
